it's a well-circulated fact that the president of the united states earns about $400k a year. it's a good amount of money, but technically, he's making more than that. he doesn't have to spend money on groceries, cars, valet, housekeeping and what have you. so it would seem that his declaring a cap on the finance sector's executives' salaries are a bit too harsh. does he not realize these people have been living lives of excess and luxury for years and years? i mean come on, how will they fund those lavish dinners and soirees to show how many friends they have and how much money their grubby hands were able to get a hold of at our expense? you know, us, the general public who have been fortunate enough to have been blinded and sideswept by these geniuses? i know, i know, there's a lot of bitterness there. i'm poor, dammit, i'm not going to lie about that. but let's just say i somehow, some way, all of a sudden am able to make $500k a year... not by being a street pharmacist mind you.
this is what i'd do with my riches, and not in any particular order either:
- hire a personal chef: $200 per diem on average, $300 for dinners. i'll save money by eating cereal in the morning -- plus i'm always in a hurry -- and expensing lunches. but dinners, can't shortchange myself on that one. i want to eat well after a long day of work. wait, what? i have to put in more for groceries? ok fine, tack on another $300 bi-weekly for that, and don't skimp on the organic stuff. i only want to shop at whole foods, the mecca for all things organic and ridiculously expensive crush-your-own-peanuts-for-peanut-butter.
- hire a driver: $50-$80k a year. i'm tired of taking public transportation and sitting next to weird, sometimes really stinky people. seriously, i'm better than those losers, letting themselves sit on those nasty seats, where homeless people sometimes sleep on. have you smelled public transportation? it's awful.
- car #1: $most expensive japanese import available. i don't mess around and we all know the japanese make the best cars.
- car #2: $80k optioned out SUV of some sort... black on black, with limo tint. i can afford premium gas. screw the environment. cars like that just have that air of 'rich' to them. plus i have more friends now so i need a car with more room.
- custom-made jeans: $660-$1100 for a really good pair. i've always had trouble finding jeans that fit me perfectly. these thunder thighs can't just go into any pair of jeans. i'll need at least 10 pairs.
- annual 7-day vacation to st. bart: $7k. this is such a good deal! 5-star hotel package with service to wait on me and my +1, hand and foot. THIS is what being 500k is like!
- hire an accountant: $400 per hour. i want the best one there is for my year-end bookeeping and such. need to make sure all my tax write offs get written off and i get those donations to my favorite charities recognized by the government. after all, look at all the good my contributions are able to accomplish.
- a mini zoo in my backyard: $don't know how much this costs but wayne newton has a wildlife habitat in his backyard. well, he has wallabies...
- game room in my house: $don't know how much this costs either, but i'll be the coolest kid on my block for sure.
see, 500k isn't bad. look at all the stuff i thought of! i have 0 of those right now. of course, i didn't take into account the million-dollar home with tens of thousands of dollars for monthly mortgage. but hey, renting a nice penthouse condo isn't so bad. if it's furnish it well, their other rich friends won't make fun of them so much.
[this is good] I can recommend to visit to you a site, with an information large quantity on a theme interesting you.
Posted by: Rolf Deluca | 2010.05.16 at 06:29 AM